Chemo Round #2 and Wigs

I had my 2nd chemo treatment last Wednesday (1/15/14).  My mom took me and as I walked into the chemo room to find a chair (there were only 2 empty - that is scary) my sweet friend, Tracy B. was waiting on me.  She brought me some magazines and a gallon of diet lemonade from Chick-Fil-A.  While I must say, I don't think I will ever be ready to receive chemo, it does make it easier and faster to receive the poison that is dripping through my body, when I have someone there to talk to.  I think I did most of the talking, with Tracy and mom just listening.  We did notice several patients drinking lemonade....I thought that was my own personal "after" chemo drink....must be the tartness (fyi - it was not my go to drink this chemo round...just didn't taste good)!!  Me and mom stopped on our way home to try on some wigs, I took some pictures so you can see.  My kids and husband don't like any of them and I am not 100% sure I even want a wig.  As I told my friend today, it really doesn't bother me unless I look at myself in the mirror...then I see a cancer patient and feel like I should be on one of those cancer commercials!  What do you think?

 

I got home and had a sweet surprise on my porch from another dear friend, Tracy F. and then another dear friend, Joy O. brought us enchiladas and sopapilla cake...yum! 

So my recovery after this round of chemo has been much harder than my 1st round.  My white blood cell count was at 1.8 on Wednesday (1/22) and so I have to be careful not to be around anyone that is sick.  I am extremely tired, so nauseous that the 4 drugs they gave me don't even help, hungry but don't know what I want to eat (so I drink a DQ Vanilla shake) and my lower back hurts like never before (that is where your bone marrow is produced, so hopefully it means that my white blood cell count is on it's way up).  One of the chemo drugs that I am getting right now is referred to as "the red devil" and that is the drug that kicks my butt and makes me so sick.  I can literally feel it affecting my brain as it is going into my body....a horrible feeling!

Wednesday (1/22/14) was Chuck's birthday and another sweet friend, Stacy M., treated us to Cotton Patch.  It was yummy!  This was also a very emotional day for me, I cried the majority of the day starting when I walked into the doctor's office.  You see, the sweet girl that works the front desk wasn't there when I went for my chemo treatment on the 15th or when I went for my Neulasta shot on the 16th.  I was told she was out sick.  When I went in on the 22nd for lab work and a visit with my oncologist, she was still not there and the magazine that told her story of surviving Stage 4 ovarian cancer was gone.  I asked where she was and was told that she had passed away.  I hope that would affect anyone, but as a cancer patient it affected me profoundly because it really makes you stop and think about every worse case scenario.  This girl always had a smile on her face and was so proud to talk about being in remission for the last year and that her scans were all clear in November.  She had developed leukemia from the chemo she received.  She found out on Monday (1/13) that she had leukemia and passed away on Friday (1/17).  I was so sad all day and just can't stop thinking about her, but God is so good and while I flipped through some old papers last night, I found something that I had ran across about 18 months ago on the internet and knew that I still had that paper for a reason.  So, I read it and am hoping and praying that I will not waste my cancer!  You can read it here http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dont-waste-your-cancer.  I am going to keep this paper close to me and read it often, along with my bible verses from other dear friends, Barrie H. and Helen F.

Prayers needed for my energy, pain, white blood cell count to go up, for me to glorify God through my journey and not waste my cancer, and for my kids, husband and mom to be okay through my journey.

A huge thank you from the bottom of my heart to each person that has reached out and loved and supported me and my family in some way throughout my journey.  I am so thankful for every meal, card, prayer, gift, ride, gift card, phone call, text, and head shaved.  I am even grateful for those people that hold the door open for me because I am bald and you feel sorry for me.  As my friend Kim T. would say I'm joking, but I'm really not joking! Without each of you and your prayers and our great God above, I am not sure how I would get through this journey!

I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. Psalm 62:5

Gloria

 

 

Quick but Long Update!

Quick but Long Update!

It seems like between tests and surgeries and my first chemo treatment and the holidays that I just haven’t had time to collect my thoughts and put them in writing.  So, sorry for how long this post is!

I had my port placed on December 13^th.  This was done by an interventional radiologist.  While the procedure was fairly simple, they did put me to sleep.  I am still getting used to the port.  It is a little freaky to have this thing in my chest and it itches and I can’t really scratch it. 

Then on December 16^th, I had my P.E.T. scan.  They accessed my port for the first time and it hurt like crazy!  Then I had to drink this very nasty stuff that made me very sick to my stomach.  I received the results on December 18^th and there are a couple of places that they could not rule out malignancy on, so I will have to have more testing or a repeat scan after all of my chemo.  I also received the results of the MammaPrint test and it came back as High Risk of the cancer spreading or returning, so the original thought would be that I would have 4 or 8 chemo treatments, changed to 16 rounds of chemo followed by 36 rounds of radiation.  God already knew this, so no matter how much planning I had already done in my head and on the calendar, he had other plans.  I am not sure when I will learn to stop planning really anything in my life, because truthfully anything can happen if God has other plans for me!

We missed celebrating Christmas with my family on Christmas day because my sister, niece and 2 nephews had the flu.  So we just had Christmas Saturday night (Jan. 11^th) with my family and followed it by celebrating my sisters 50^th birthday!  We did get to celebrate with Chuck’s family on Christmas day at our house.  It was nice to just have a relaxing day and not have to travel anywhere.  The best part was I didn’t have to cook one thing; everyone that came brought the food and then cleaned up afterwards! 

My first chemo treatment was December 26^th.  I was definitely nervous but knew that I wanted to get started on my treatment so I can be done with it.  Chuck took me to my first treatment and he can fall asleep anywhere!  I wished I had that ability!  My treatment lasted about 4 hours and for the most part I felt okay during it all.  I have to put a patch on 24 hours before chemo to help with the nausea.  So I did pretty well for the next 2 days.  I have to go in the day after chemo to get a shot of Neulasta, which helps build my white blood cells back up.  Sunday (the 29^th) I slept most of the day.  Monday (the 30^th) was the one year anniversary of my dad passing away, so mom came and spent the day with me and the kids and we took cookies to the nurses that took care of him in ICU and went to the cemetery.  I miss him so much and can’t believe that it has been a year since he went to Heaven.  Tuesday and Wednesday (the 31^st and 1^st) were pretty good days, I got some things done around the house.  The main thing I noticed was nothing sounded good or tasted good to eat and I was very tired.  On Thursday (the 2^nd) was my day to go back to the doctor for lab work and doctor visit.  I knew that I was not feeling well at all and just thought I had overdone it the day before.  However, my white blood cell count was at .8, which normal is around 11 for me.  I also had a fever.  The doctor sent me home on antibiotics to try to protect me from getting an infection and told me to avoid being around people.  I was also told that I would have to be admitted to the hospital if my fever got to 101.  I went home and sent out a text to my Prayer Warriors asking for prayer that my fever would not reach 101.  It got to 100.7 but when I woke up on Friday morning (the 3^rd) my fever was below normal!  Praise the Lord!!  I still did not feel well on Friday so I mostly stayed in bed.  I felt better on Saturday (the 4^th) and much better on Sunday (the 5^th). 

This past week (January 6^th-10^th) I worked each day and felt pretty good all week.  On Tuesday (the 7^th) my hair started to fall out.  I wept over this.  I think so much of a woman’s identity is in their hair and we are used to seeing men bald, but when you see a woman bald, you know they are sick.  On Wednesday (the 8^th) I became bald!  I lost 10 times the amount of hair this morning than I did yesterday, so it was time to shave my head.  I texted my hair girl and she said she would come over at 4 to do the shaving, so I texted a couple of my close friends and told them to come at 4 if they wanted.  So, at about 4:15 my hair girl was not here so I called her and she had forgotten!! Crazy I know, but as I said earlier, don’t make plans, because God has other plans.  So we all jumped in the car and went up the road and walked into a Hair Solutions and I said I needed my head shaved and the girl said, “really” and I said, “yes really, I have cancer and my hair is falling out”.  We had to wait for about 10 minutes and as one of the men that was getting his hair cut went to leave he said, “so you are getting your head shaved”, I said “yes, I have breast cancer”. He went on to tell us that his wife did the same thing last year around this time because she had Stage 4 breast cancer that had spread to her bones and liver.  She just had a scan that was completely clean and she was in remission.  I call that man an Angel that God sent to send me a message that no matter how much I dread the road ahead of me, I can do it!  When I was running a fever,  I told a friend that I was done and didn’t want to fight this battle, she told me that she didn’t see me as a quitter but as a Nike girl – a girl that “Just Does It”!  That has given me strength and confidence that I can do all things with God’s help and the love and support and prayers from my friends and family.  Another Angel that God sent this day was the girl that shaved my head.  Sophie was amazing and showed me true empathy.  She wept when she shaved my head!  What a blessing!  You can watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxIWyZjN2NpsPWAt3wAjPfg/videos

Me and Paris and Alex

Me and Mom

 

My besties - Kim and Jana

 

My next chemo treatment is this Wednesday (the 15^th).  While I am not looking forward to being sick again for the 7-10 days afterwards, I want to keep on keeping on!!

I am so very thankful to my friends and family for the amazing support you have given to me.  You each know who you are and I honestly could not get through this without you and your prayers, love and support.  You have blessed me and my family beyond what words can describe and I am forever grateful for your love and support.  

I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. Psalm 62:5

Gloria